Periods of Growth and Change

Sometimes it can feel like the season of life we are in will last forever, especially when we finally feel like we got the hang of things. We know what to expect, how to plan for it, and have a general idea of what the year will look like.

But nothing is forever, and when the season if coming to an end, I tend to feel like all the growth, change, and adjustment all happen at once. I'm always aware of the passing of time, so in a way I'm confused as to why I feel so unprepared.

I'm entering a new phase, which involves university applications, letters of recommendation, references, a resume, and I've even started wearing a watch like a proper young lady. In the last week alone I've attended seminar at university to create my resume, turned it in, got it proofread, and edited it. I've ordered a pair of suits for interviews and career fairs and asked two different people for letters of recommendation (one whom already got back and wrote it). I've begun two applications that could change the course of my life. I guess I'm finally seeing the results of the hard work, of working consistently through this season of life. I just wish it would happen slower.

I'm also feeling all the feelings I have to feel. I've so blessed to have the opportunities I've been given. It's a privilege to feel overwhelmed by opportunity. I have so many people teaching and supporting me through these things, it would be so much harder without them. I feel so much gratitude, and also some grief at the closing of this chapter. I feel at peace, knowing that I took every chance, every risk and grew as a result of it. I've met people and friends I would have completely missed had I not decided to try things even though I felt unprepared. 

I learned that even though I might not feel good enough, prepared, or deserving, I can always do it anyway. Do it scared. There is nothing I can't be taught, nothing that can't be learned. It just takes consistency, just 10 minutes every day. I gained the confidence to apply for a degree in which I have almost no background thanks to the progress I've seen in myself after joining a group and seeing my growth in just a year. 

My life is transitioning into its next season, and I look forward to the blessings and love it will bring. I also am deeply grateful that I've got things to look back on with so much love.